The Preeminence of Christ in our Homes | Resources
Sermon Text: Colossians 3:18–21
“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged.” (CSB)
Devotional
When I was 22, my wife and I had been married for just under two years and were dealing with the inability to resolve conflict, selfishness, and a lack of clear and honest communication, and it led to some loud, explosive arguments with days of relational fallout at times afterward.
I will never forget one specific time when we had a disagreement and I had said some things that were not good and should not have been said. I knew it was wrong and not loving, but I was so bitter about the way I was wronged that my solution was to not talk at all for a week. For six days, it “worked.” My wife and I didn’t have any fights or arguments for those six days, but we also had no relationship; we weren’t talking. On the seventh day, my willpower dried up, I exploded, and we had the single most significant and most hurtful fight of our entire 13-year marriage.
Looking back, I now see that even though I believed the gospel and was even working at a church, the person who was most important in my marriage at the time was me. I was the priority; my feelings, my sense of right and wrong, all of it revolved around me.
On the surface, it seems like the answer to that would be, “Well, start making your wife the priority.” But what actually created the most lasting change in my life and our marriage was when Christ became the priority in my life and main focus of even our marriage. When that happened, the destructive cycle of serving ourselves instead of each other began to stop, and this verse became true in our lives. We began to see the life-giving cycle start: when husbands love wives as Christ commands, and then wives submit to husbands, “as is fitting in the Lord,” everything changes.
Not because we change from seeing ourselves or the other person as the priority, but because Christ, and Christ alone, becomes the priority.
Discussion/Reflection Questions
1. What is submission? Is submission considered a good thing in our culture? Why or why not?
2. Read Ephesians 5:22-33. How does Paul speak about the relationships in this passage? What actions are each role called to?
3. What do you think verse 21 is speaking to? Give some examples of how this might look in your context.
4. How are the relationships in your life? How can we be praying for you this week?
5. In light of this text, what does it look like to obey the prompting of the Spirit this week?
Memory Verse
“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.” Psalm 103:13 (CSB)