Marriage Appendix: Divorce, Reconciliation and Remarriage
Divorce is a civil ordinance that recognizes the legal dissolution of the marriage and details the legal obligations of a husband and wife created as a result of the divorce. Divorce was not a part of God’s plan for us. Christ’s teaching only allows Christians to pursue a divorce in the event that their spouse has committed adultery. 25 Even so, divorce in this situation is an allowance and not a commandment.
Reconciliation: In addressing all situations of marital strife – including adultery – Christians should always work and pray for reconciliation as long as it is possible (e.g. the ex-spouse is still living and remains unmarried). Showing such continual, forgiving love in our marriage covenant is a testimony of God’s love for us.1, 26 Who can fathom what God’s grace may provide as a testimony to Him as a result of your commitment to your marriage vows?
Remarriage: The Bible only allows Christians to remarry a different spouse under three circumstances:
1) the death of a spouse
2) those who pursued a divorce in the event of infidelity on the part of a spouse – this includes the circumstance where an ex-spouse remarries after the divorce, or
3) an unbelieving spouse pursues a divorce and deserts the Christian.
What do I do now?
If you are reading this and you have already divorced, and perhaps even remarried in a manner inconsistent with God’s word; please be comforted in the forgiveness offered through Christ’s sacrifice. We have provided some Biblical Guideposts below for anyone who is divorced or is considering divorce or remarriage. However, human’s sinful nature can present many circumstances that are too complex to address in this paper. Please feel free to contact one of our elders for direction and counsel if you are struggling with how to honor God in your decision. Finally, it is never God’s will for you to remain in a household where the physical or emotional abuse of you or your children is evident. Anyone in this circumstance should take appropriate action to safeguard their health and their children’s health and then seek Godly counsel to address the situation.
Biblical Guideposts for Divorce and Remarriage:
1) Reconciliation and commitment to the current marriage covenant by each spouse is always consistent with God’s plan. Preferably, a husband and wife will engage in this instead of pursuing a divorce in the first place.
2) In the event of a divorce, it is preferable not to seek remarriage to a different spouse. Rather prayerfully commit to living in obedience to God’s desire for your life as laid out in His Word.
3) In the event of a divorce for a reason other than adultery or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse, you should seek reconciliation as long as the ex-spouse is alive and remains unmarried. However, you are not bound by your marriage covenant if your ex-spouse engages in sexual relations with someone else.
4) If your unbelieving spouse has divorced and abandoned you, then you are not bound by that previous marriage.28 However, Guidepost 2 should still be applied before exercising your freedom in Christ to remarry.