Which Traits Matter?

Todd Stiles   -  

Many things are important. Few things are essential.

For instance, air conditioning is important. Air is essential.

Hot water is important. Water is essential.

Driving home this very point relationally was a 2020 study done among Iowa church members. They were surveyed about five servant leadership traits exhibited in their pastors—love, humility, trust, vision, and empowerment—to see if any of these traits were correlated to the intention of the members to stay connected and involved in the church.

The result? All were correlated to congregational retention. What was surprising, however, was that two of the traits were beyond the level of correlation. The research indicated two traits were at the level of predictability, the highest level possible in quantitative research. Those 2 traits? Love (with a predictability score of .000) and humility (with a predictability score of .009).

The point? Pastors who exhibit love and humility see a higher rate of retention among their members. I’d venture to say that also equates, eventually, to deeper relationships, wider impact, and stronger ministry. Truly, many traits matter. But two, apparently, matter most.

Not surprising is this: our Lord has already told us this. Meditate on these words for a moment:

“Now the goal of our instruction is love that comes from a pure heart.” (1 Timothy 1:5)

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.” (Phil. 2:3)

“Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love— but the greatest of these islove.” (1 Cor. 13:13)

As I poured over those findings, remembering that Jesus had told us these things already, I couldn’t help but ponder the difference love and humility could make in other relational environments, such as our families and friendships. I’d venture to say the findings from this research are generally transferable, and that people in general respond quite favorably to expressions of love and humility from those with whom they interact. No doubt many traits could be important. Two will be essential.

This year, pursue important qualities, but especially love and humility. Give and live sacrificially. Put others first. Meet needs. Defer credit. Accept responsibility instead of blaming. Build others up, don’t tear them down. Express sincere gratefulness, not proud criticism. These are just a few of the practical ways you can serve others through love and humility, tightening the bond of your relationships in 2023.

Pastor Todd